Give and Take: WHY HELPING OTHERS DRIVES OUR SUCCESS

Give and Take: WHY HELPING OTHERS DRIVES OUR SUCCESS

Give and Take: WHY HELPING OTHERS DRIVES OUR SUCCESS

260 Pages ·2011·1.57 MB ·English

Give and Take: WHY HELPING OTHERS DRIVES OUR SUCCESS

PRAISE FOR ADAM GRANT’S


Give and Take


“Give and Take just might be the most important book of this young century. As insightful and


entertaining as Malcolm Gladwell at his best, this book has profound implications for how we


manage our careers, deal with our friends and relatives, raise our children, and design our


institutions. This gem is a joy to read, and it shatters the myth that greed is the path to success.”


—Robert Sutton, author of The No *sshole Rule and Good Boss, Bad Boss


“Give and Take is a truly exhilarating book—the rare work that will shatter your assumptions about


how the world works and keep your brain firing for weeks after you’ve turned the last page.”


—Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive and A Whole New Mind


“Give and Take is brimming with life-changing insights. As brilliant as it is wise, this is not just a


book—it’s a new and shining worldview. Adam Grant is one of the great social scientists of our time,


and his extraordinary new book is sure to be a bestseller.”


—Susan Cain, author of Quiet


“Give and Take cuts through the clutter of clichés in the marketplace and provides a refreshing new


perspective on the art and science of success. Adam Grant has crafted a unique, must-have toolkit for


accomplishing goals through collaboration and reciprocity.”


—William P. Lauder, executive chairman, The Estée Lauder Companies Inc.


“Give and Take is a pleasure to read, extraordinarily informative, and will likely become one of the


classic books on workplace leadership and management. It has changed the way I see my personal


and professional relationships, and has encouraged me to be a more thoughtful friend and colleague.”


—Jeff Ashby, NASA space shuttle commander


“With Give and Take, Adam Grant has marshaled compelling evidence for a revolutionary way of


thinking about personal success in business and in life. Besides the fundamentally uplifting character


of the case he makes, readers will be delighted by the truly engaging way he makes it. This is a must


read.”


—Robert Cialdini, author of Influence


“Give and Take is a brilliant, well-documented, and motivating debunking of ‘good guys finish last’!


I’ve noticed for years that generosity generates its own kind of equity, and Grant’s fascinating


research and engaging style have created not only a solid validation of that principle but also


practical wisdom and techniques for utilizing it more effectively. This is a super manifesto for getting


meaningful things done, sustainably.”


—David Allen, author of Getting Things Done


“Packed with cutting-edge research, concrete examples, and deep insight, Give and Take offers extraordinarily thought-provoking—and often surprising—conclusions about how our interactions


with others drive our success and happiness. This important and compulsively readable book


deserves to be a huge success.”


—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and Happier at Home


“One of the great secrets of life is that those who win most are often those who give most. In this


elegant and lucid book, filled with compelling evidence and evocative examples, Adam Grant shows


us why and how this is so. Highly recommended!”


—William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of The Power of a Positive No


“Good guys finish first—and Adam Grant knows why. Give and Take is the smart surprise you can’t


afford to miss.”


—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness


“Give and Take is an enlightening read for leaders who aspire to create meaningful and sustainable


changes to their environments. Grant demonstrates how a generous orientation toward others can


serve as a formula for producing successful leaders and organizational performance. His writing is as


engaging and enjoyable as his style in the classroom.”


—Kenneth Frazier, chairman, president, and CEO, Merck & Co., Inc.


“In this riveting and sparkling book, Adam Grant turns the conventional wisdom upside down about


what it takes to win and get ahead. With page-turning stories and compelling studies, Give and Take


reveals the surprising forces behind success and the steps we can take to enhance our own.”


—Laszlo Bock, senior vice president of people operations, Google


“Give and Take dispels commonly held beliefs that equate givers with weakness and takers with


strength. Grant shows us the importance of nurturing and encouraging prosocial behaviors.”


—Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational


“Give and Take defines a road to success marked by new ways of relating to colleagues and


customers as well as new ways of growing a business.”


—Tony Hsieh, CEO, Zappos.com and author of Delivering Happiness


“Give and Take will fundamentally change the way you think about success. Unfortunately in


America, we have too often succumbed to the worldview that if everyone behaved in their own


narrow self-interest, all would be fine. Adam Grant shows us with compelling research and


fascinating stories there is a better way.”


—Lenny Mendonca, director, McKinsey & Co.


“Adam Grant, a rising star of positive psychology, seamlessly weaves together science and stories of


business success and failure, convincing us that giving is, in the long run, the recipe for success in the


corporate world. En route you will find yourself reexamining your own life. Read it yourself, then


give copies to the people you care most about in this world.”


—Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and Flourish “Give and Take presents a groundbreaking new perspective on success. Adam Grant offers a


captivating window into innovative principles that drive effectiveness at every level of an


organization and can immediately be put into action. Along with being a fascinating read, this book


holds the key to a more satisfied and productive workplace, better customer relationships, and higher


profits.”


—Chip Conley, founder, Joie de Vivre Hotels and author of Peak and Emotional Equations


“Give and Take is a game changer. Reading Adam Grant’s compelling book will change the way


doctors doctor, managers manage, teachers teach, and bosses boss. It will create a society in which


people do better by being better. Read the book and change the way you live and work.”


—Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice and Practical Wisdom


“Give and Take is a new behavioral benchmark for doing business for better, providing an inspiring


new perspective on how to succeed to the benefit of all. Adam Grant provides great support for the


new paradigm of creating a win win for people, planet, and profit with many fabulous insights and


wonderful stories to get you fully hooked and infected with wanting to give more and take less.”


—Jochen Zeitz, former CEO and chairman, PUMA


“Give and Take is a real gift. Adam Grant delivers a triple treat: stories as good as a well-written


novel, surprising insights drawn from rigorous science, and advice on using those insights to catapult


ourselves and our organizations to success. I can’t think of another book with more powerful


implications for both business and life.”


—Teresa Amabile, author of The Progress Principle


“Adam Grant has written a landmark book that examines what makes some extraordinarily successful


people so great. By introducing us to highly impressive individuals, he proves that, contrary to


popular belief, the best way to climb to the top of the ladder is to take others up there with you. Give


and Take presents the road to success for the twenty-first century.”


—Maria Eitel, founding CEO and president, the Nike Foundation


“In an era of business literature that drones on with the same-old, over-used platitudes, Adam Grant


forges into brilliant new territory. Give and Take helps readers understand how to maximize their


effectiveness and help others simultaneously. It will serve as a new framework for both insight and


achievement. A must read!”


—Josh Linkner, founder, ePrize, CEO, Detroit Venture Partners, and author of Disciplined Dreaming


“What The No *sshole Rule did for corporate culture, Give and Take does for each of us as


individuals. Grant presents an evidence-based case for the counterintuitive link between generosity


and finishing first.”


—Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, coauthors of Difficult Conversations


“Adam Grant is a wunderkind. He has won every distinguished research award and teaching award in


his field, and his work has changed the way that people see the world. If you want to be surprised—


very pleasantly surprised—by what really drives success, then Give and Take is for you. If you want


to make the world a better place, read this book. If you want to make your life better, read this book.” —Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier


“In one of the most engaging and insightful books I’ve read in years, Adam Grant makes a persuasive


argument for a counterintuitive approach to success. Give and Take is an instant classic that should be


read by anyone who wants to be more productive—and happier—in the office or at home.”


—Noah Goldstein, author of Yes!


“Give and Take is sensational, with fascinating insights on page after page. I learned much that I


intend to incorporate into my life immediately. The lessons will not only make you a better person,


they will make you more capable of doing good for many people, including yourself.”


—Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of Jewish Literacy and A Code of Jewish Ethics


“Adam Grant is the first to define what has changed about relationships in a digital age—and he


backs it up with empirical evidence. In Give and Take, he brilliantly demonstrates that in our deeply


interconnected world, the roots of sustainable success lie in creating success for those around you.


It’s one of those rare books that is both enlightening immensely practical. You’ll want to read and


revisit it every year.”


—Paul Saffo, managing director, Foresight and member, World Economic Forum Council on Strategic Foresight GIVE AND TAKE


A Revolutionary Approach to Success


Adam Grant


VIKING VIKING


Published by the Penguin Group


Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,


New York, New York 10014, USA


USA | Canada | UK | Ireland | Australia | New Zealand | India | South Africa | China


Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England


For more information about the Penguin Group visit penguin.com


Copyright © Adam Grant, 2013.


All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in


or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.


Photograph of Jon Huntsman: Huntsman International LLC. Used by permission.


Photograph of Kenneth Lay: Enron 1997 annual report.


LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA


Grant, Adam M.


Give and take : the hidden social dynamics of success / Adam M. Grant.


p. cm.


Includes bibliographical references and index.


ISBN 978-1-101-62284-1


1. Success—Psychological aspects. 2. Success in business—Psycological aspects. 3. Interpersonal relations—Psychological aspects. 4. Social networks—Psychological


aspects. I. Title.


BF637.S8G6855 2013


158.2—dc23


2012039995


In memory of my friend


JEFF ZASLOW


who lived his life as a role model for the principles in this book. CONTENTS


Praise for Give and Take


Title Page


Copyright


Dedication


1 Good Returns


The Dangers and Rewards of Giving More Than You Get


2 The Peacock and the Panda


How Givers, Takers, and Matchers Build Networks


3 The Ripple Effect


Collaboration and the Dynamics of Giving and Taking Credit


4 Finding the Diamond in the Rough


The Fact and Fiction of Recognizing Potential


5 The Power of Powerless Communication


How to Be Modest and Influence People


6 The Art of Motivation Maintenance


Why Some Givers Burn Out but Others Are On Fire


7 Chump Change


Overcoming the Doormat Effect


8 The Scrooge Shift


Why a Soccer Team, a Fingerprint, and a Name Can Tilt Us in the Other Direction


9 Out of the Shadows


Actions for Impact


Acknowledgments References


Index


PRAISE FOR ADAM GRANT’S


Give and Take


“Give and Take just might be the most important book of this young century. As insightful and


entertaining as Malcolm Gladwell at his best, this book has profound implications for how we


manage our careers, deal with our friends and relatives, raise our children, and design our


institutions. This gem is a joy to read, and it shatters the myth that greed is the path to success.”


—Robert Sutton, author of The No *sshole Rule and Good Boss, Bad Boss


“Give and Take is a truly exhilarating book—the rare work that will shatter your assumptions about


how the world works and keep your brain firing for weeks after you’ve turned the last page.”


—Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive and A Whole New Mind


“Give and Take is brimming with life-changing insights. As brilliant as it is wise, this is not just a


book—it’s a new and shining worldview. Adam Grant is one of the great social scientists of our time,


and his extraordinary new book is sure to be a bestseller.”


—Susan Cain, author of Quiet


“Give and Take cuts through the clutter of clichés in the marketplace and provides a refreshing new


perspective on the art and science of success. Adam Grant has crafted a unique, must-have toolkit for


accomplishing goals through collaboration and reciprocity.”


—William P. Lauder, executive chairman, The Estée Lauder Companies Inc.


“Give and Take is a pleasure to read, extraordinarily informative, and will likely become one of the


classic books on workplace leadership and management. It has changed the way I see my personal


and professional relationships, and has encouraged me to be a more thoughtful friend and colleague.”


—Jeff Ashby, NASA space shuttle commander


“With Give and Take, Adam Grant has marshaled compelling evidence for a revolutionary way of


thinking about personal success in business and in life. Besides the fundamentally uplifting character


of the case he makes, readers will be delighted by the truly engaging way he makes it. This is a must


read.”


—Robert Cialdini, author of Influence


“Give and Take is a brilliant, well-documented, and motivating debunking of ‘good guys finish last’!


I’ve noticed for years that generosity generates its own kind of equity, and Grant’s fascinating


research and engaging style have created not only a solid validation of that principle but also


practical wisdom and techniques for utilizing it more effectively. This is a super manifesto for getting


meaningful things done, sustainably.”


—David Allen, author of Getting Things Done


“Packed with cutting-edge research, concrete examples, and deep insight, Give and Take offers extraordinarily thought-provoking—and often surprising—conclusions about how our interactions


with others drive our success and happiness. This important and compulsively readable book


deserves to be a huge success.”


—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and Happier at Home


“One of the great secrets of life is that those who win most are often those who give most. In this


elegant and lucid book, filled with compelling evidence and evocative examples, Adam Grant shows


us why and how this is so. Highly recommended!”


—William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of The Power of a Positive No


“Good guys finish first—and Adam Grant knows why. Give and Take is the smart surprise you can’t


afford to miss.”


—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness


“Give and Take is an enlightening read for leaders who aspire to create meaningful and sustainable


changes to their environments. Grant demonstrates how a generous orientation toward others can


serve as a formula for producing successful leaders and organizational performance. His writing is as


engaging and enjoyable as his style in the classroom.”


—Kenneth Frazier, chairman, president, and CEO, Merck & Co., Inc.


“In this riveting and sparkling book, Adam Grant turns the conventional wisdom upside down about


what it takes to win and get ahead. With page-turning stories and compelling studies, Give and Take


reveals the surprising forces behind success and the steps we can take to enhance our own.”


—Laszlo Bock, senior vice president of people operations, Google


“Give and Take dispels commonly held beliefs that equate givers with weakness and takers with


strength. Grant shows us the importance of nurturing and encouraging prosocial behaviors.”


—Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational


“Give and Take defines a road to success marked by new ways of relating to colleagues and


customers as well as new ways of growing a business.”


—Tony Hsieh, CEO, Zappos.com and author of Delivering Happiness


“Give and Take will fundamentally change the way you think about success. Unfortunately in


America, we have too often succumbed to the worldview that if everyone behaved in their own


narrow self-interest, all would be fine. Adam Grant shows us with compelling research and


fascinating stories there is a better way.”


—Lenny Mendonca, director, McKinsey & Co.


“Adam Grant, a rising star of positive psychology, seamlessly weaves together science and stories of


business success and failure, convincing us that giving is, in the long run, the recipe for success in the


corporate world. En route you will find yourself reexamining your own life. Read it yourself, then


give copies to the people you care most about in this world.”


—Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and Flourish “Give and Take presents a groundbreaking new perspective on success. Adam Grant offers a


captivating window into innovative principles that drive effectiveness at every level of an


organization and can immediately be put into action. Along with being a fascinating read, this book


holds the key to a more satisfied and productive workplace, better customer relationships, and higher


profits.”


—Chip Conley, founder, Joie de Vivre Hotels and author of Peak and Emotional Equations


“Give and Take is a game changer. Reading Adam Grant’s compelling book will change the way


doctors doctor, managers manage, teachers teach, and bosses boss. It will create a society in which


people do better by being better. Read the book and change the way you live and work.”


—Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice and Practical Wisdom


“Give and Take is a new behavioral benchmark for doing business for better, providing an inspiring


new perspective on how to succeed to the benefit of all. Adam Grant provides great support for the


new paradigm of creating a win win for people, planet, and profit with many fabulous insights and


wonderful stories to get you fully hooked and infected with wanting to give more and take less.”


—Jochen Zeitz, former CEO and chairman, PUMA


“Give and Take is a real gift. Adam Grant delivers a triple treat: stories as good as a well-written


novel, surprising insights drawn from rigorous science, and advice on using those insights to catapult


ourselves and our organizations to success. I can’t think of another book with more powerful


implications for both business and life.”


—Teresa Amabile, author of The Progress Principle


“Adam Grant has written a landmark book that examines what makes some extraordinarily successful


people so great. By introducing us to highly impressive individuals, he proves that, contrary to


popular belief, the best way to climb to the top of the ladder is to take others up there with you. Give


and Take presents the road to success for the twenty-first century.”


—Maria Eitel, founding CEO and president, the Nike Foundation


“In an era of business literature that drones on with the same-old, over-used platitudes, Adam Grant


forges into brilliant new territory. Give and Take helps readers understand how to maximize their


effectiveness and help others simultaneously. It will serve as a new framework for both insight and


achievement. A must read!”


—Josh Linkner, founder, ePrize, CEO, Detroit Venture Partners, and author of Disciplined Dreaming


“What The No *sshole Rule did for corporate culture, Give and Take does for each of us as


individuals. Grant presents an evidence-based case for the counterintuitive link between generosity


and finishing first.”


—Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, coauthors of Difficult Conversations


“Adam Grant is a wunderkind. He has won every distinguished research award and teaching award in


his field, and his work has changed the way that people see the world. If you want to be surprised—


very pleasantly surprised—by what really drives success, then Give and Take is for you. If you want


to make the world a better place, read this book. If you want to make your life better, read this book.” —Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier


“In one of the most engaging and insightful books I’ve read in years, Adam Grant makes a persuasive


argument for a counterintuitive approach to success. Give and Take is an instant classic that should be


read by anyone who wants to be more productive—and happier—in the office or at home.”


—Noah Goldstein, author of Yes!


“Give and Take is sensational, with fascinating insights on page after page. I learned much that I


intend to incorporate into my life immediately. The lessons will not only make you a better person,


they will make you more capable of doing good for many people, including yourself.”


—Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of Jewish Literacy and A Code of Jewish Ethics


“Adam Grant is the first to define what has changed about relationships in a digital age—and he


backs it up with empirical evidence. In Give and Take, he brilliantly demonstrates that in our deeply


interconnected world, the roots of sustainable success lie in creating success for those around you.


It’s one of those rare books that is both enlightening immensely practical. You’ll want to read and


revisit it every year.”


—Paul Saffo, managing director, Foresight and member, World Economic Forum Council on Strategic Foresight GIVE AND TAKE


A Revolutionary Approach to Success


Adam Grant


VIKING VIKING


Published by the Penguin Group


Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,


New York, New York 10014, USA


USA | Canada | UK | Ireland | Australia | New Zealand | India | South Africa | China


Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England


For more information about the Penguin Group visit penguin.com


Copyright © Adam Grant, 2013.


All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in


or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.


Photograph of Jon Huntsman: Huntsman International LLC. Used by permission.


Photograph of Kenneth Lay: Enron 1997 annual report.


LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA


Grant, Adam M.


Give and take : the hidden social dynamics of success / Adam M. Grant.


p. cm.


Includes bibliographical references and index.


ISBN 978-1-101-62284-1


1. Success—Psychological aspects. 2. Success in business—Psycological aspects. 3. Interpersonal relations—Psychological aspects. 4. Social networks—Psychological


aspects. I. Title.


BF637.S8G6855 2013


158.2—dc23


2012039995


In memory of my friend


JEFF ZASLOW


who lived his life as a role model for the principles in this book. CONTENTS


Praise for Give and Take


Title Page


Copyright


Dedication


1 Good Returns


The Dangers and Rewards of Giving More Than You Get


2 The Peacock and the Panda


How Givers, Takers, and Matchers Build Networks


3 The Ripple Effect


Collaboration and the Dynamics of Giving and Taking Credit


4 Finding the Diamond in the Rough


The Fact and Fiction of Recognizing Potential


5 The Power of Powerless Communication


How to Be Modest and Influence People


6 The Art of Motivation Maintenance


Why Some Givers Burn Out but Others Are On Fire


7 Chump Change


Overcoming the Doormat Effect


8 The Scrooge Shift


Why a Soccer Team, a Fingerprint, and a Name Can Tilt Us in the Other Direction


9 Out of the Shadows


Actions for Impact


Acknowledgments References


Index


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