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A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

153 Pages · 2004 · 889 KB · English

  • A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

    A WALK IN THE WOODS


    REDISCOVERING AMERICA ON THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL



    by Bill Bryson



    Not long after I moved with my family to a small town in New Hampshire I happened


    upon a path that vanished into a wood on the edge of town.


    A sign announced that this was no ordinary footpath but the celebrated Appalachian


    Trail. Running more than 2,100 miles along America's eastern seaboard, through the


    serene and beckoning Appalachian Mountains, the AT is the granddaddy of long hikes.


    From Georgia to Maine, it wanders across fourteen states, through plump, comely hills'


    whose very names--Blue Ridge, Smokies, Cumberlands, Green Mountains, White


    Mountains-- seem an invitation to amble. Who could say the words "Great Smoky


    Mountains" or "Shenandoah Valley" and not feel an urge, as the naturalist John Muir once


    put it, to "throw a loaf of bread and a pound of tea in an old sack and jump over the back


    fence"?


    And here it was, quite unexpectedly, meandering in a dangerously beguiling fashion


    through the pleasant New England community in which I had just settled. It seemed such


    an extraordinary notion--that I could set off from home and walk 1,800 miles through


    woods to Georgia, or turn the other way and clamber over the rough and stony White


    Mountains to the fabled prow of Mount Katahdin, floating in forest 450 miles to the north


    in a wilderness few have seen. A little voice in my head said: "Sounds neat! Let's do it!"


    I formed a number of rationalizations. It would get me fit after years of waddlesome


    sloth. It would be an interesting and reflective way to reacquaint myself with the scale


    and beauty of my native land after nearly twenty years of living abroad. It would be


    useful (I wasn't quite sure in what way, but I was sure nonetheless) to learn to fend for


    myself in the wilderness. When guys in camouflage pants and hunting hats sat around in


    the Four Aces Diner talking about fearsome things done out-of-doors, I would no longer


    have to feel like such a cupcake. I wanted a little of that swagger that comes with being


    able to gaze at a far horizon through eyes of chipped granite and say with a slow, manly


    sniff, "Yeah, I've shit in the woods."


    And there was a more compelling reason to go. The Appalachians are the home of one


    of the world's great hardwood forests-- the expansive relic of the richest, most diversified


    sweep of woodland ever to grace the temperate world--and that forest is in trouble. If the


    global temperature rises by 4°C over the next fifty years, as is evidently possible, the


    whole of the Appalachian wilderness below New England could become savanna. Already


    trees are dying in frightening numbers. The elms and chestnuts are long gone, the stately


    hemlocks and flowery dogwoods are going, and the red spruces, Fraser firs, mountain


    ashes, and sugar maples may be about to follow. Clearly, if ever there was a time to


    experience this singular wilderness, it was now.


    So I decided to do it. More rashly, I announced my intention-- told friends and


    neighbors, confidently informed my publisher, made it common knowledge among those


    who knew me. Then I bought some books and talked to people who had done the trail in


    whole or in part and came gradually to realize that this was way beyond--way beyond--


    anything I had attempted before.


    Nearly everyone I talked to had some gruesome story involving a guileless


    acquaintance who had gone off hiking the trail with high hopes and new boots and come


    stumbling back two days later with a bobcat attached to his head or dripping blood from


    an armless sleeve and whispering in a hoarse voice, "Bear!" before sinking into a troubled


    unconsciousness. The woods were full of peril--rattlesnakes and water moccasins and nests of


    copperheads; bobcats, bears, coyotes, wolves, and wild boar; loony hillbillies destabilized


    by gross quantities of impure corn liquor and generations of profoundly unbiblical sex;


    rabies-crazed skunks, raccoons, and squirrels; merciless fire ants and ravening blackfly;


    poison ivy, poison sumac, poison oak, and poison salamanders; even a scattering of


    moose lethally deranged by a parasitic worm that burrows a nest in their brains and


    befuddles them into chasing hapless hikers through remote, sunny meadows and into


    glacial lakes.


    Literally unimaginable things could happen to you out there. I heard of a man who had


    stepped from his tent for a midnight pee and was swooped upon by a short-sighted hoot


    owl--the last he saw of his scalp it was dangling from talons prettily silhouetted against a


    harvest moon--and of a young woman who was woken by a tickle across her belly and


    peered into her sleeping bag to find a copperhead bunking down in the warmth between


    her legs. I heard four separate stories (always related with a chuckle) of campers and


    bears sharing tents for a few confused and lively moments; stories of people abruptly


    vaporized ("tweren't nothing left of him but a scorch mark") by body-sized bolts of


    lightning when caught in sudden storms on high ridgelines; of tents crushed beneath


    falling trees, or eased off precipices on ballbearings of beaded rain and sent paragliding


    on to distant valley floors, or swept away by the watery wall of a flash flood; of hikers


    beyond counting whose last experience was of trembling earth and the befuddled thought


    "Now what the------?"


    It required only a little light reading in adventure books and almost no imagination to


    envision circumstances in which I would find myself caught in a tightening circle of


    hunger-emboldened wolves, staggering and shredding clothes under an onslaught of


    pincered fire ants, or dumbly transfixed by the sight of enlivened undergrowth advancing


    towards me, like a torpedo through water, before being bowled backwards by a sofa-sized


    boar with cold beady eyes, a piercing squeal, and a slaverous, chomping appetite for pink,


    plump, city-softened flesh.


    Then there were all the diseases one is vulnerable to in the woods--giardiasis, eastern


    equine encephalitis, Rocky Mountain spotted fever, Lyme disease, ehrlichiosis,


    schistosomiasis, brucellosis, and shigellosis, to offer but a sampling. Eastern equine


    encephalitis, caused by the prick of a mosquito, attacks the brain and central nervous


    system. If you're lucky you can hope to spend the rest of your life propped in a chair with


    a bib around your neck, but generally it will kill you. There is no known cure. No less


    arresting is Lyme disease, which comes from the bite of a tiny deer tick. If undetected, it


    can lie dormant in the human body for years before erupting in a positive fiesta of


    maladies. This is a disease for the person who wants to experience it all. The symptoms


    include, but are not limited to, headaches, fatigue, fever, chills, shortness of breath,


    dizziness, shooting pains in the extremities, cardiac irregularities, facial paralysis, muscle


    spasms, severe mental impairment, loss of control of body functions, and--hardly


    surprising, really-- chronic depression.


    Then there is the little-known family of organisms called hantaviruses, which swarm in


    the micro-haze above the feces of mice and rats and are hoovered into the human


    respiratory system by anyone unlucky enough to stick a breathing orifice near them-- by


    lying down, say, on a sleeping platform over which infected mice have recently scampered. In 1993 a single outbreak of hantavirus killed thirty-two people in the


    southwestern United States, and the following year the disease claimed its first victim on


    the AT when a hiker contracted it after sleeping in a "rodent-infested shelter." (All AT


    shelters are rodent infested.) Among viruses, only rabies, ebola, and HIV are more


    certainly lethal. Again, there is no treatment.


    Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder. At least nine


    hikers (the actual number depends on which source you consult and how you define a


    hiker) have been murdered along the trail since 1974. Two young women would die while


    I was out there.


    For various practical reasons, principally to do with the long, punishing winters of


    northern New England, there are only so many available months to hike the trail each


    year. If you start at the northern end, at Mount Katahdin in Maine, you must wait for the


    snows to clear in late May or June. If, on the other hand, you start in Georgia and head


    north, you must time it to finish before mid-October, when the snows blow back in. Most


    people hike from south to north with spring, ideally keeping one step ahead of the worst


    of the hot weather and the more irksome and infectious of insects. My intention was to


    start in the south in early March. I put aside six weeks for the first leg.


    The precise length of the Appalachian Trail is a matter of interesting uncertainty. The


    U.S. National Park Service, which constantly distinguishes itself in a variety of ways,


    manages in a single leaflet to give the length of the trail as 2,155 miles and 2,200 miles.


    The official Appalachian Trail Guides, a set of eleven books each dealing with a particular


    state or section, variously give the length as 2,144 miles, 2,147 miles, 2,159 miles, and


    "more than 2,150 miles." The Appalachian Trail Conference, the governing body, in 1993


    put the trail length at exactly 2,146.7 miles, then changed for a couple of years to a


    hesitantly vague "more than 2,150 miles," but has recently returned to confident precision


    with a length of 2,160.2 miles. In 1993, three people rolled a measuring wheel along its


    entire length and came up with a distance of 2,164.9 miles. At about the same time, a


    careful measure based on a full set of U.S. Geological Survey maps put the distance at


    2,118.3 miles.


    What is certain is that it is a long way, and from either end it is not easy. The peaks of


    the Appalachian Trail are not particularly formidable as mountains go--the highest,


    Clingmans Dome in Tennessee, tops out at a little under 6,700 feet--but they are big


    enough and they go on and on. There are more than 350 peaks over 5,000 feet along the


    AT, and perhaps a thousand more in the vicinity. Altogether, it takes about five months,


    and five million steps, to walk the trail from end to end.


    And of course on the AT you must lug on your back everything you need. It may seem


    obvious, but it came as a small shock to me to realize that this wasn't going to be even


    remotely like an amble through the English Cotswolds or Lake District, where you head off


    for the day with a haversack containing a packed lunch and a hiking map and at day's end


    retire from the hills to a convivial inn for a hot bath, a hearty meal, and a soft bed. Here


    you sleep outdoors and cook your own food. Few people manage to carry less than forty


    pounds, and when you're hauling that kind of weight, believe me, never for a moment


    does it escape your notice. It is one thing to walk 2,000 miles, quite another to walk


    2,000 miles with a wardrobe on your back. My first inkling of just how daunting an undertaking it was to be came when I went to


    our local outfitters, the Dartmouth Co-Op, to purchase equipment. My son had just gotten


    an after-school job there, so I was under strict instructions of good behavior. Specifically,


    I was not to say or do anything stupid, try on anything that would require me to expose


    my stomach, say "Are you shitting me?" when informed of the price of a product, be


    conspicuously inattentive when a sales assistant was explaining the correct maintenance


    or aftercare of a product, and above all don anything inappropriate, like a woman's ski


    hat, in an attempt to amuse.


    I was told to ask for Dave Mengle because he had walked large parts of the trail


    himself and was something of an encyclopedia of outdoor knowledge. A kindly and


    deferential sort of fellow, Mengle could talk for perhaps four days solid, with interest,


    about any aspect of hiking equipment.


    I have never been so simultaneously impressed and bewildered. We spent a whole


    afternoon going through his stock. He would say things to me like: "Now this has a 70-


    denier high-density abrasion-resistant fly with a ripstop weave. On the other hand, and I'll


    be frank with you here"--and he would lean to me and reduce his voice to a low, candid


    tone, as if disclosing that it had once been arrested in a public toilet with a sailor--"the


    seams are lap felled rather than bias taped and the vestibule is a little cramped."


    I think because I mentioned that I had done a bit of hiking in England, he assumed


    some measure of competence on my part. I didn't wish to alarm or disappoint him, so


    when he asked me questions like "What's your view on carbon fiber stays?" I would shake


    my head with a rueful chuckle, in recognition of the famous variability of views on this


    perennially thorny issue, and say, "You know, Dave, I've never been able to make up my


    mind on that one--what do you think?"


    Together we discussed and gravely considered the relative merits of side compression


    straps, spindrift collars, crampon patches, load transfer differentials, air-flow channels,


    webbing loops, and something called the occipital cutout ratio. We went through that with


    every item. Even an aluminum cookset offered considerations of weight, compactness,


    thermal dynamics, and general utility that could occupy a mind for hours. In between


    there was lots of discussion about hiking generally, mostly to do with hazards like


    rockfalls, bear encounters, cookstove explosions, and snakebites, which he described with


    a certain misty-eyed fondness before coming back to the topic at hand.


    With everything, he talked a lot about weight. It seemed to me a trifle overfastidious to


    choose one sleeping bag over another because it weighed three ounces less, but as


    equipment piled up around us I began to appreciate how ounces accumulate into pounds.


    I hadn't expected to buy so much--I already owned hiking boots, a Swiss army knife, and


    a plastic map pouch that you wear around your neck on a piece of string, so I had felt I


    was pretty well there--but the more I talked to Dave the more I realized that I was


    shopping for an expedition.


    The two big shocks were how expensive everything was--each time Dave dodged into


    the storeroom or went off to confirm a denier rating, I stole looks at price tags and was


    invariably appalled--and how every piece of equipment appeared to require some further


    piece of equipment. If you bought a sleeping bag, then you needed a stuff sack for it. The


    stuff sack cost $29. I found this an increasingly difficult concept to warm to. When, after much solemn consideration, I settled on a backpack--a very expensive


    Gregory, top-of-the-range, no-point-in-stinting-here sort of thing--he said, "Now what kind


    of straps do you want with that?"


    "I beg your pardon?" I said, and recognized at once that I was on the brink of a


    dangerous condition known as retail burnout. No more now would I blithely say, "Better


    give me half a dozen of those, Dave. Oh, and I'll take eight of these--what the heck, make


    it a dozen. You only live once, eh?" The mound of provisions that a minute ago had


    looked so pleasingly abundant and exciting--all new! all mine!--suddenly seemed


    burdensome and extravagant.


    "Straps," Dave explained. "You know, to tie on your sleeping bag and lash things


    down."


    "It doesn't come with straps?" I said in a new, level tone.


    "Oh, no." He surveyed a wall of products and touched a finger to his nose. "You'll


    need a raincover too, of course."


    I blinked. "A raincover? Why?"


    "To keep out the rain."


    "The backpack's not rainproof?"


    He grimaced as if making an exceptionally delicate distinction. "Well, not a hundred


    percent. . . ."


    This was extraordinary to me. "Really? Did it not occur to the manufacturer that people


    might want to take their packs outdoors from time to time? Perhaps even go camping


    with them. How much is this pack anyway?"


    "Two hundred and fifty dollars."


    "Two hundred and fifty dollars! Are you shi------," I paused and put on a new voice.


    "Are you saying, Dave, that I pay $250 for a pack and it doesn't have straps and it isn't


    waterproof?"


    He nodded.


    "Does it have a bottom in it?"


    Mengle smiled uneasily. It was not in his nature to grow critical or weary in the rich,


    promising world of camping equipment. "The straps come in a choice of six colors," he


    offered helpfully. I ended up with enough equipment to bring full employment to a vale of


    sherpas--a three-season tent, self-inflating sleeping pad, nested pots and pans, collapsible


    eating utensils, plastic dish and cup, complicated pump-action water purifier, stuff sacks in


    a rainbow of colors, seam sealer, patching kit, sleeping bag, bungee cords, water bottles,


    waterproof poncho, waterproof matches, pack cover, a rather nifty compass/thermometer


    keyring, a little collapsible stove that looked frankly like trouble, gas bottle and spare gas


    bottle, a hands-free flashlight that you wore on your head like a miner's lamp (this I liked


    very much), a big knife for killing bears and hillbillies, insulated long Johns and


    undershirts, four bandannas, and lots of other stuff, for some of which I had to go back


    again and ask what it was for exactly. I drew the line at buying a designer groundcloth for


    $59.95, knowing I could acquire a lawn tarp at Kmart for $5. I also said no to a first-aid


    kit, sewing kit, anti-snake-bite kit, $12 emergency whistle, and small orange plastic shovel


    for burying one's poop, on the grounds that these were unnecessary, too expensive, or


    invited ridicule. The orange spade in particular seemed to shout: "Greenhorn! Sissy! Make


    way for Mr. Buttercup!" Then, just to get it all over and done with at once, I went next door to the Dartmouth


    Bookstore and bought books--The Thru-Hiker's Handbook, Walking the Appalachian Trail,


    several books on wildlife and the natural sciences, a geological history of the Appalachian


    Trail by the exquisitely named V. Collins Chew, and the complete, aforementioned set of


    official Appalachian Trail Guides, consisting of eleven small paperback books and fifty-nine


    maps in different sizes, styles, and scales covering the whole trail from Springer Mountain


    to Mount Katahdin and ambitiously priced at $233.45 the set. On the way out I noticed a


    volume called Bear Attacks: Their Causes and Avoidance, opened it up at random, found


    the sentence "This is a clear example of the general type of incident in which a black bear


    sees a person and decides to try to kill and eat him," and tossed that into the shopping


    basket, too.


    I took all this home and carried it down to the basement in several trips. There was


    such a lot, nearly all of it technologically unfamiliar to me, which made it both exciting


    and daunting, but mostly daunting. I put the hands-free flashlight on my head, for the


    heck of it, and pulled the tent from its plastic packaging and erected it on the floor. I


    unfurled the self-inflating sleeping pad and pushed it inside and followed that with my


    fluffy new sleeping bag. Then I crawled in and lay there for quite a long time trying out


    for size the expensive, confined, strangely new-smelling, entirely novel space that was


    soon to be my home away from home. I tried to imagine myself lying not in a basement


    beside the reassuring, cozily domesticated roar of the furnace, but rather outside, in a


    high mountain pass, listening to wind and tree noise, the lonely howl of doglike creatures,


    the hoarse whisper of a Georgia mountain accent saying: "Hey, Virgil, there's one over


    here. Y'all remember the rope?" But I couldn't really.


    I hadn't been in a space like this since I stopped making dens with blankets and card


    tables at about the age of nine. It was really quite snug and, once you got used to the


    smell, which I naively presumed would dissipate with time, and the fact that the fabric


    gave everything inside a sickly greenish pallor, like the glow off a radar screen, it was not


    so bad. A little claustrophobic perhaps, a little odd smelling, but cozy and sturdy even so.


    This wouldn't be so bad, I told myself. But secretly I knew that I was quite wrong.


    On the afternoon of July 5, 1983, three adult supervisors and a group of youngsters set


    up camp at a popular spot beside Lake Canimina in the fragrant pine forests of western


    Quebec, about eighty miles north of Ottawa, in a park called La Verendrye Provincial


    Reserve. They cooked dinner and, afterwards, in the correct fashion, secured their food in


    a bag and carried it a hundred or so feet into the woods, where they suspended it above


    the ground between two trees, out of the reach of bears.


    About midnight, a black bear came prowling around the margins of the camp, spied the


    bag, and brought it down by climbing one of the trees and breaking a branch. He


    plundered the food and departed, but an hour later he was back, this time entering the


    camp itself, drawn by the lingering smell of cooked meat in the campers' clothes and hair,


    in their sleeping bags and tent fabric. It was to be a long night for the Canimina party.


    Three times between midnight and 3:30 A.M. the bear came to the camp.


    Imagine, if you will, lying in the dark alone in a little tent, nothing but a few microns of


    trembling nylon between you and the chill night air, listening to a 400-pound bear moving


    around your campsite. Imagine its quiet grunts and mysterious snufflings, the clatter of


    upended cookware and sounds of moist gnawings, the pad of its feet and the heaviness of its breath, the singing brush of its haunch along your tent side. Imagine the hot flood


    of adrenaline, that unwelcome tingling in the back of your arms, at the sudden rough


    bump of its snout against the foot of your tent, the alarming wild wobble of your frail shell


    as it roots through the backpack that you left casually propped by the entrance--with, you


    suddenly recall, a Snickers in the pouch. Bears adore Snickers, you've heard.


    And then the dull thought--oh, God--that perhaps you brought the Snickers in here with


    you, that it's somewhere in here, down by your feet or underneath you or--oh, shit, here


    it is. Another bump of grunting head against the tent, this time near your shoulders. More


    crazy wobble. Then silence, a very long silence, and--wait, shhhhh . . . yes!--the


    unutterable relief of realizing that the bear has withdrawn to the other side of the camp or


    shambled back into the woods. I tell you right now, I couldn't stand it.


    So imagine then what it must have been like for poor little David Anderson, aged


    twelve, when at 3:30 A.M., on the third foray, his tent was abruptly rent with a swipe of


    claw and the bear, driven to distraction by the rich, unfixable, everywhere aroma of


    hamburger, bit hard into a flinching limb and dragged him shouting and flailing through


    the camp and into the woods. In the few moments it took the boy's fellow campers to


    unzip themselves from their accoutrements--and imagine, if you will, trying to swim out of


    suddenly voluminous sleeping bags, take up flashlights and makeshift cudgels, undo tent


    zips with helplessly fumbling fingers, and give chase--in those few moments, poor little


    David Anderson was dead.


    Now imagine reading a nonfiction book packed with stories such as this--true tales


    soberly related--just before setting off alone on a camping trip of your own into the North


    American wilderness. The book to which I refer is Bear Attacks: Their Causes and


    Avoidance, by a Canadian academic named Stephen Herrero. If it is not the last word on


    the subject, then I really, really, really do not wish to hear the last word. Through long


    winter nights in New Hampshire, while snow piled up outdoors and my wife slumbered


    peacefully beside me, I lay saucer-eyed in bed reading clinically precise accounts of


    people gnawed pulpy in their sleeping bags, plucked whimpering from trees, even


    noiselessly stalked (I didn't know this happened!) as they sauntered unawares down leafy


    paths or cooled their feet in mountain streams. People whose one fatal mistake was to


    smooth their hair with a dab of aromatic gel, or eat juicy meat, or tuck a Snickers in their


    shirt pocket for later, or have sex, or even, possibly, menstruate, or in some small,


    inadvertent way pique the olfactory properties of the hungry bear. Or, come to that,


    whose fatal failing was simply to be very, very unfortunate--to round a bend and find a


    moody male blocking the path, head rocking appraisingly, or wander unwittingly into the


    territory of a bear too slowed by age or idleness to chase down fleeter prey.


    Now it is important to establish right away that the possibility of a serious bear attack


    on the Appalachian Trail is remote. To begin with, the really terrifying American bear, the


    grizzly--Ursus horribilis, as it is so vividly and correctly labeled--doesn't range east of the


    Mississippi, which is good news because grizzlies are large, powerful, and ferociously bad


    tempered. When Lewis and Clark went into the wilderness, they found that nothing


    unnerved the native Indians more than the grizzly, and not surprisingly since you could


    riddle a grizzly with arrows--positively porcupine it-- and it would still keep coming. Even


    Lewis and Clark with their big guns were astounded and unsettled by the ability of the


    grizzly to absorb volleys of lead with barely a wobble. Herrero recounts an incident that nicely conveys the near indestructibility of the grizzly.


    It concerns a professional hunter in Alaska named Alexei Pitka, who stalked a large male


    through snow and finally felled it with a well-aimed shot to the heart from a large-bore


    rifle. Pitka should probably have carried a card with him that said: "First make sure bear is


    dead. Then put gun down." He advanced cautiously and spent a minute or two watching


    the bear for movement, but when there was none he set the gun against a tree (big


    mistake!) and strode forward to claim his prize. Just as he reached it, the bear sprang up,


    clapped its expansive jaws around the front of Pitka's head, as if giving him a big kiss, and


    with a single jerk tore off his face.


    Miraculously, Pitka survived. "I don't know why I set that durn gun against the tree,"


    he said later. (Actually, what he said was, "Mrffff mmmpg nnnmmm mffffffn," on account


    of having no lips, teeth, nose, tongue, or other vocal apparatus.)


    If I were to be pawed and chewed--and this seemed to me entirely possible, the more


    I read--it would be by a black bear, Ursus americanus. There are at least 500,000 black


    bears in North America, possibly as many as 700,000. They are notably common in the


    hills along the Appalachian Trail (indeed, they often use the trail, for convenience), and


    their numbers are growing. Grizzlies, by contrast, number no more than 35,000 in the


    whole of North America, and just 1,000 in the mainland United States, principally in and


    around Yellowstone National Park. Of the two species, black bears are generally smaller


    (though this is a decidedly relative condition; a male black bear can still weigh up to 650


    pounds) and unquestionably more retiring.


    Black bears rarely attack. But here's the thing. Sometimes they do. All bears are agile,


    cunning, and immensely strong, and they are always hungry. If they want to kill you and


    eat you, they can, and pretty much whenever they want. That doesn't happen often, but--


    and here is the absolutely salient point--once would be enough. Herrero is at pains to


    stress that black bear attacks are infrequent, relative to their numbers. For 1900 to 1980,


    he found just twenty-three confirmed black bear killings of humans (about half the


    number of killings by grizzlies), and most of these were out West or in Canada. In New


    Hampshire there has not been an unprovoked fatal attack on a human by a bear since


    1784. In Vermont, there has never been one.


    I wanted very much to be calmed by these assurances but could never quite manage


    the necessary leap of faith. After noting that just 500 people were attacked and hurt by


    black bears between 1960 and 1980--twenty-five attacks a year from a resident


    population of at least half a million bears--Herrero adds that most of these injuries were


    not severe. "The typical black bear-inflicted injury," he writes blandly, "is minor and


    usually involves only a few scratches or light bites." Pardon me, but what exactly is a light


    bite? Are we talking a playful wrestle and gummy nips? I think not. And is 500 certified


    attacks really such a modest number, considering how few people go into the North


    American woods? And how foolish must one be to be reassured by the information that no


    bear has killed a human in Vermont or New Hampshire in 200 years? That's not because


    the bears have signed a treaty, you know. There's nothing to say that they won't start a


    modest rampage tomorrow.


    So let us imagine that a bear does go for us out in the wilds. What are we to do?


    Interestingly, the advised stratagems are exactly opposite for grizzly and black bear. With


    a grizzly, you should make for a tall tree, since grizzlies aren't much for climbing. If a tree


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